• berkshirelifecoach

Take Back Your Time

You’re laying awake, it’s 2 a.m. Your mind is racing with jobs you did today or should have done today or must get around to tomorrow, clients you need to respond to, invoices you need to send.

You’re trying to plan in some happy, fun things to do with the children at the weekend and you’re really worried that when these current clients finish their time with you, where will the next client come from? You seem to be tired all the time and you sometimes wonder if you’re running your business or your business is running you.

Sound familiar?

Running your own business can be so exciting, empowering and freeing, but it doesn’t mean that all your problems suddenly disappear. What about shiny object syndrome? There’s so much you could do, so much you want to do, sometimes you feel like you want to start doing it all at once but that is not possible. How do you make decisions about where to invest your time and your energy? How do you prioritise what needs to be done first and what can wait to be done at a later date? How do you make sure that during your family time you’re switching your mind off from work and during your work time you’re being as productive as you want to be?

Would you like support to say yes to the things you’d really like to say yes to? And to learn to say no or wait to the things that can wait?

· Healthy Boundaries

· Assertiveness

· Covey’s Quadrants

· Daily & Weekly planning

· Genuine Goal setting aligned to your values & big WHY

· Decision making scaffolds

Each one of the above can be, (and probably will be added as such at a later date), an entire blog entry of its own. However, here’s a brief rundown.

Healthy Boundaries.

Your time is a precious resource and if you try to always please everyone, you can end up burnt out, resentful and also missing out on the growth and pleasure gained from investing time in the parts of life you truly value. Becoming aware of and listening to, your own needs and situations which make you feel stressed or uncomfortable is a great first step. Being able to then recognise what kind of boundary you need to set in place with certain people or in certain situations empowers you to deal with that person or situation more confidently, calmly and with less worry or stress. Being able to calmly and truthfully communicate your boundaries and needs to others, is amazing!


Many of the women I work with tell me they’d like to be more assertive but find it hard. When we dig deeper, they often have some underlying fears. Frequently, there is a figure in their life who represents ‘assertiveness’ to them and who is someone they wouldn’t want to be like! Sometimes when people think of characteristics of assertiveness, what they’re actually picturing and describing is aggression. True assertiveness is not aggressive; it is being able to stand up for your own or other people's rights in a calm and positive way, without being either aggressive, or passive. Once you understand this, it is easier to start your journey to becoming more assertive. When being assertive, you are able to get your point across without offending others or becoming upset yourself. That said; it takes practise! Expect to feel a little uncomfortable until you become used to it.

Covey’s Quadrants.

A brilliant tool for helping you measure where you’re currently spending your time and helping you keep away from interruptions and ‘busy work’, and stay in your focussed zone, working on the things you truly prioritise, learning to automate or delegate or say no to things that are distractions or time guzzlers.

Daily and Weekly Planning.

Investing a little time in focussing on the outcomes you want to achieve for the week and then scheduling in all the tasks you want to do each day to successfully achieve those outcomes is an absolute game changer. And I mean ALL the outcomes, not just business related; you want to sleep better? ‘Budget’ a portion of time before you go to bed to do an activity that relaxes you and helps you unwind. You want to get fitter? ‘Budget’ time in your daily planner for your exercise. Remember to budget a little contingency time too, so you can react to the unexpected without feeling too pressured!

Genuine Goal setting aligned with your big WHY.

It seems everybody feels they ought to set goals!

No ought to or should; only set genuine goals, aligned to that which you highly value in life and want to truly work to achieve. When you hit on the areas you value highly and have a burning desire to see come to fruition, you will realise there is a big WHY in there; why do you want this so badly? What difference is this going to make in your life or the life of another? Why does this mean so much to you?

Setting goals you don’t care about is pointless and sets you up to fail.

Setting goals you are passionate about and have a burning desire to achieve; those are your true goals in life with a powerful reason to drive you to achieve them!

Decision making scaffolds

When there is so much to do, so much you could do, so much you want to do, it can be tempting to try to take on too much at once! How do we decide what to invest our precious energy and time into and what isn’t for us in this moment, but maybe at a later month or year? How do you stop yourself spreading yourself too thinly, saying yes to everything and everyone and ending up laying awake worrying at 2am? We make lots of decisions every day, but sometimes consider things very little before making a decision! Having a scaffold or model to support you in all your decision making, stops the chasing shiny objects syndrome. Stops they saying yes to everything and helps you stay working on those things that mean the most to you and will give you the absolute best return you’re looking for, whether that’s financial return on investment, emotional return on investment, wellness, weightloss, relationships or projects.

Busy business Mums often tell me they don’t want to drop the ball! They feel responsible for everyone and don’t want to let anyone down. They frequently put their own needs last because there just doesn’t seem to be enough time. Their biggest fear; letting down their children.

We can change this! We can find the clarity & calm in our busy lives, to take back control of our time and run our business, rather than our business running us! It’s going to mean being brave.

We can do anything! But we can’t do everything all at once!

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